While revolutions, some violent, some peaceful, and some stalled, invigorate the Middle East, I have had some worries about the safety of living in the region for a whole year. On the other hand, this last weekend in Connecticut convinced me that it might be even more dangerous staying in the northeast. Syria may have violent protests and Bahrain is the current battle ground of the Saudi/Iranian rivalry, neither of these conflicts holds a candle to the turmoil brewing in usually peaceful Harwinton.
This sleepy hamlet is the center of a war between man and his age old enemy: ferocious nature. Yes, gentle reader, I speak of the threat posed by the hordes of vicious animals sweeping the northeast. On Friday night a merciless bear not only disrupted my LSAT studying but he tore into one of my mom’s standing birdfeeders like David Ortiz into a curveball or a wolf in the sheep pen. Of course, with the appearance of bears, can wolves be far behind? Where are our helicopters full of hunters to protect us?
The one bear was bad enough, but the next day a bear cub broke the Pickard household’s morning tranquility when he rambled through the yard on his way for parts unknown (probably headed to rough up old people or steal candy from babies). This aggression will not, nay must not, stand! A bear cub may be cute, but next thing you know he will disrupt your blueberry picking or complain that his porridge is too cold.
So, I am no longer worried about democracy craving protestors and their anti-dictator agendas, rather I seek only to escape the from the nefarious schemes of the cute, but obviously Janus faced, wildlife invading America.